How Do You Spell Cha-Ching?

As we have previously mentioned, our insurance company (herewith referred to as The Big Prick Corporation) does not cover infertility cycles. Now, seeing as how a 2010 model for a brand new baby is running right around 16K (according to Kelly Blue Book) we over here at Putting the Fun in Infertility have found ourselves in a bit of a pickle. We do not have 16,000 dollars lying around - trust us - we checked. John's been buried ankles deep in the couch for the last two days and I just keep checking and rechecking the change jar that's on top of the fridge. We converged in the dining room last night to combine our bounty and the grand total was a staggering 4.16, a ball of lint and something that resembled an old chip. "Hopeless" isn't really a word that I like to throw around so let me just set it gently down in front of us all to stare at.

Since we moved out here around five years ago, John and I have been "employed" as independent contractors. This means we are both self-employed and unemployed at the very same time. Our lives are a dual dichotomy and I must say that it's very satisfying existing as a riddle. That said, our work has a tendency to be a bit volatile, unsteady and unpredictable, especially during the "worst recession the United States has ever seen since The Great Depression". Don't ask me who I'm quoting, I'm sort of paraphrasing something I either read on the internet or heard on the radio or watched somebody say at some point.

On and on.

The last few months have been a bit of a holding pattern for us. John was recently picked up back over at MGM, which was an ultimate and timely blessing...and yes, I'll say "blessing" as in "gift from God" because it's exactly what I mean. He's been over there for about a month and a half and since the get-go has been waiting to see if the show would pick up for a second season. If it didn't, we would be left to our vices, scouring for change and selling lemonade on the corner. If it DID get picked up, he would be "guaranteed" another 4-6months of consistent work (barring MGM being sold off, closing down or imploding) and we could safely empty our savings account and roll the dice on baby making without worrying about the possibility of going into the poor house.

Well, yesterday the verdict came in.........and......

THUNDERCATS ARE GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you, God! Happy days are here again! We've finally gotten the long awaited green light so, in celebration, John and I jumped around in our living room, hitting each other with pillows all willy-nilly while doing a sort of awkward victory dance......think Elaine from Seinfeld.

I am excited. But also a wee bit nervous. The "reprieve" is over and now I really have to GO through all of this instead of just reading about it from the safety and pain free comfort of my couch.

I feel like we're at the precipice of a gigantic roller coaster and any second it's going to tumble, but for the moment we're just hanging out at the top, staring over the edge, just waiting, praying that the cart doesn't derail and then.........you're off on a ride that leaves you excited and scared and breathless and maybe even screaming.

Here's to the ride! I hope when it's all over I feel like barfing.