Twin Mom's "Top 15" Questions

I have no idea who wrote this......but it is hilarious.

I love humanity.

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15. "I could never do it."
Oh really. What would you do? Would you put them on the curb with signs around their necks that say, "Free to a good home. My mom can't do it."?

14. "Do they have different personalities?"
No. They are the same human being divided into several parts.

13. Said by a stranger, "They're identical, right?" Mom answers, "No. They're fraternal." Stranger response, "They are NOT!"
OK. You're right. I have no idea what I'm talking about. These are not my children. I thought it would be fun to borrow them from a mom down at Baby Gap. It's been more than an hour. I guess I should return them.

12. "Are they 'paternal' twins?"
Yes. They have a father. There was only one virgin birth.

11. "Just wait till they're older. It only gets harder."
Thank you. I woke up this morning hoping I'd receive a word of discouragement while pushing a cart of preschoolers down the cereal aisle.

10. "When one cries, does he wake the others?"
No. Multiples cannot hear each other's cries because they all communicate with their special telepathic language only.

9. From a perfect stranger: "Were they in the same sac?"
Hello. Nice to meet you, too. Will you be sharing your gynecological history with me as well?

8. "Are they developmentally behind?"
Well, let's see. They're 3 years old and thus far, all their graduate school applications have been denied. We'll get back with you on that.

7. "How do you do it?"
Haven't you seen the Nike commercials?

6. "Are they natural?"
Nope, their arms and legs are made of silicone.

5. "You must be SO busy."
Are you volunteering to clean my house?

4. "Did you take drugs?"
Well, there was this one time in college....

3. "What do you do when they all cry at the same time?"
Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I go to Starbucks.

2. Said to a mom of boy/girl twins: "Are they identical?"
Uh. Not exactly.

And No. 1. Drum roll please. . . .

1. After a stranger had been informed that the toddler boys were twins, she asked a simple question:

"Are they brothers?"
Enough said.

Are you kidding me?

I hope, for the love of God, that this Doctor had the presence of mind NOT to enlighten them.

I don't like to throw stones..........but maybe it's better if these two didn't reproduce.

Unsolicited Advice

In a recent Elle magazine interview Jennifer Lopez had this to say regarding IVF and her choice not to pursue it:

"When it comes to family and relationships, I'm quite traditional; just because of the way I was raised. And I also believe in God and I have a lot of faith in that, so I just felt like you don't mess with things like that. And I guess deep down I really felt like either this is not going to happen for me or it is… And, if it is, it will. And if it's not, it's not going to."

The ultra spiritual, doubly divorced Lopez "supposedly" managed to naturally conceive and give birth to twins at the age of 39. Thank God divorce, promiscuity and premarital sex are "things you can mess with" otherwise she might run the possibility of being considered a huge hypocrite.

We here at Fun in Infertility would like to thank Jenny from the Block for her unsolicited but highly intelligent celebrity advice. Thank you for being such a beacon of hope for we mere mortals. You are truly an inspiration.

ps. I hated your flesh suit at the New Year's thing with What's-His-Name.